How to be a good wedding guest
Being a good wedding guest mostly means doing what the couple asked: reply by their date, bring only the guests named on the invitation, dress to the stated code without wearing white, arrive early for the ceremony, and put your phone away while it happens. Give a gift from their registry or a card, sit where you are placed, and save big speeches and heavy drinking for another night.
About 10 minutes to learnEveryday skill
Mark it once you can do it without this page open.
How to do it
- Reply by the reply-by date, and bring only the people named on the invitation.
- Read the dress code and follow it; avoid white or anything that competes with the couple.
- Arrive fifteen to twenty minutes before the ceremony starts.
- Silence your phone and do not take photos during the ceremony unless the couple invites it.
- Sit at the table on your place card, even if you would rather sit elsewhere.
- Give a gift from their registry or a card, sent before or after the day if you prefer.
- Greet the couple briefly in the receiving line or at their table, and keep it short.
- Drink at a pace that keeps you the guest they will want to invite again.
Common mistakes
- Adding a date the couple did not invite.
- Holding up a phone in the aisle during the vows.
- Moving place cards to sit with friends.
Quick self-check
Three questions. Your last score is kept in this browser.
Teach this to someone
A one-page sheet for showing a friend, a roommate or a kid: what to say, what to show, and one question to check it landed.
Teach: How to be a good wedding guest
What to say
Being a good wedding guest mostly means doing what the couple asked: reply by their date, bring only the guests named on the invitation, dress to the stated code without wearing white, arrive early for the ceremony, and put your phone away while it happens. Give a gift from their registry or a card, sit where you are placed, and save big speeches and heavy drinking for another night.
What to show, in order
- Reply by the reply-by date, and bring only the people named on the invitation.
- Read the dress code and follow it; avoid white or anything that competes with the couple.
- Arrive fifteen to twenty minutes before the ceremony starts.
- Silence your phone and do not take photos during the ceremony unless the couple invites it.
- Sit at the table on your place card, even if you would rather sit elsewhere.
- Give a gift from their registry or a card, sent before or after the day if you prefer.
- Greet the couple briefly in the receiving line or at their table, and keep it short.
- Drink at a pace that keeps you the guest they will want to invite again.
The check question
Ask: Which color should guests usually avoid?
Related skills
- What black tie, cocktail and business casual mean
- How to RSVP and send invitations
- What a groomsman actually does
- Every skill in People and Etiquette
Last reviewed . First published .