How to network without being awkward
To network without being awkward, start with people you already know, ask for twenty minutes of advice rather than a job, and come with three questions about their work. Follow up within a day with a thank-you that mentions something they said, and keep in touch every few months with a useful link or congratulations. Offer help back whenever you can.
About 20 minutes to learnEveryday skill
Mark it once you can do it without this page open.
How to do it
- List people you already know in or near the field: former coworkers, classmates, friends of family.
- Send a short message asking for twenty minutes of their advice about their work, not for a job.
- Prepare three questions, such as what do you wish you had known starting out.
- Keep the call or coffee to the time you asked for, and ask who else they would suggest you talk to.
- Send a thank-you within 24 hours mentioning one thing they said.
- Keep a simple list of contacts and check in every few months with news, a useful link or congratulations.
- Keep your professional profile and resume current so people can recommend you easily.
- Offer help back: an introduction, a reference, or sharing something useful.
Common mistakes
- Only reaching out when you need a job.
- Opening a message to a stranger by asking for a job or a referral.
- Running over the time you asked for.
- Never following up.
Quick self-check
Three questions. Your last score is kept in this browser.
Teach this to someone
A one-page sheet for showing a friend, a roommate or a kid: what to say, what to show, and one question to check it landed.
Teach: How to network without being awkward
What to say
To network without being awkward, start with people you already know, ask for twenty minutes of advice rather than a job, and come with three questions about their work. Follow up within a day with a thank-you that mentions something they said, and keep in touch every few months with a useful link or congratulations. Offer help back whenever you can.
What to show, in order
- List people you already know in or near the field: former coworkers, classmates, friends of family.
- Send a short message asking for twenty minutes of their advice about their work, not for a job.
- Prepare three questions, such as what do you wish you had known starting out.
- Keep the call or coffee to the time you asked for, and ask who else they would suggest you talk to.
- Send a thank-you within 24 hours mentioning one thing they said.
- Keep a simple list of contacts and check in every few months with news, a useful link or congratulations.
- Keep your professional profile and resume current so people can recommend you easily.
- Offer help back: an introduction, a reference, or sharing something useful.
The check question
Ask: What should you ask a contact for first?
Related skills
- How to write a resume
- How to make small talk
- How to keep friends as an adult
- Every skill in Work and Career
Last reviewed . First published .